Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Last Post?

Since the blog is entitled 'Kutzalicious Blogtime' and i'm not at Kutz anymore.....I guess this is where i have to realize that i'm back in real life and the roller coaster of Kutz has come to an end and led way to the flatline of my everyday life.  My life isn't that boring, really, but compared to Kutz....
I feel kind of bad, because i have no PKD - Post Kutz Depression.  Last year i had it bad and this year i guess i've become a cold emotionless bastard.  I think that the reasoning is that Kutz this summer drained me, it drained me dry.  Here's what i think:  Last year, because it was my first year at Jewish Leadership camp, and because of the people, my summer was about defining my jewish identity, and growing as a reform jew and as a person.  It was a completely new and exciting environment.  This summer was not as new.  I think that this summer taught me how be better at social stuff, but i also think a BIG chunk of my summer was devoted to problem solving. Dealing with other peoples problems - big ones to boot, and my disappointment with the programs this summer, both contributed to the feeling and reality of being burnt out.  I hate to say it, but i reached my limit at the URJ Kutz Campus for Reform Jewish Teen Life.
So maybe i'm not a cold emotionless bastard, for not missing kutz, and not missing my friends as much as they seem to miss me - maybe that does make me cold, but i'm done.  Its hard because i don't want to convey that i'm just tossing my Kutz friends by the wayside and saying, "i'm done with you", but i think that for now, i'll chill out, and wait for PKD to come in a couple of months, when i'm hating my real life and wishing for friends who appreciate and understand me to the extent that nobody here ever could.  I thank EVERYONE who contributed to my Kutz Experience - even if you weren't at Kutz and you made me think about something i learned, and especially if you were at Kutz.  I can say that i will devote my time and energy to ensure that those after me have the same life-changing experience at Kutz as i did.

You Stay Classy Kutz Camp, and thanks for everything.

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